I grew up in a classic suburb where me and the neighbors up the street occupied our pre-internet, pre-wii, pre-K level minds with a simple game in which you would breathe in and out quickly and another guy would push violently on your abdomen in an effort to make you blackout for a second.
We didn’t need no stinking twitter.
So it is with some concern for future suburbanites that I report that doctors have warned that drinking large amounts of cola can cause temporary paralysis. It takes some effort. You’ve got to drink a lot of cola. About two to ten liters.
Chronic consumption of the drink can cause a condition called hypokalaemia, in which levels of potassium in the blood fall, in some patients. Symptoms can range from mild weakness and constipation to paralysis … All patients made a full and speedy recovery after they stopped drinking cola and took supplements of potassium.
That range of symptoms makes for a pretty high stakes social activity. You don’t want to have to deal with the lifelong taunts of the guy who paralyzed himself if all you got was constipated.
