Given the choice between a behavioral change and a fistful of pills, almost all Americans will opt for the prescription.
That may be about to change.
The next national campaign to hit the airways will be a grand-scale touting of the youth-granting, muscle-building, virility-boosting benefits of testosterone supplements. You may not even think you need more testosterone, but with enough nonstop advertising, you’ll soon realize that you do.
If you do actually suffer from low testosterone levels, there may be a pill-free way to get a natural increase. Just watch some porn. (Feel free to enter your own restless leg syndrome joke here.)
Get ready to heal thyself.
The case for pornography derives from research showing that adult fare can help restore a sapped male mojo. Monkeys that see sexually active females register as much as a 400 percent jump in testosterone (nature’s own performance-enhancing drug) promoting lean muscle and quick recovery times, according to the Yerkes Center for Primate Research at Emory University. In humans, German researchers have found that just having an erection is enough to spur testosterone levels. it makes no difference whether a man is watching sex on a screen or having it in real life, his testosterone levels will go up.
This could help explain why there is only about a half a centimeter of exposed flesh between my hairline and my goatee.
William Harvey discovered what the heart does and how blood circulates (his book Exercitatio Anatomica de Motu Cordis et Sanguinis in Animalibus is a great summer read). Antoni van Leeuwenhoek (a part time janitor) discovered bacteria using a homemade microscope. Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin in 1929. And now someone finally figured out wanking off is good for you. Science rocks.
Could porn beat out a heavily-advertised drug for dominance in the testosterone boosting market? Considering it accounts for about a quarter of all internet searches (one assumes the other three quarters are for nude, naked, NSFW and anything having to do with American Idol) it’s got a shot. Who knows, we may find that porn is a viable cure for other ailments. I’ve been watching almost nonstop since the onset of the Swine Flu pandemic, and so far, not a sniffle.
(Pill bottle illustration by the great Brian Moco)
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